Izit so hard to find a "family" in school ???

             I always dream to have a "family" in school , which can see all my classmate helping each others ... When the 1st time i enter this class , i really felt that i had found what i wanted this long year until now .... i started to change my mind bout it .
             When i was in A1 , i know that i was't the class that i dream always because i saw that there appear to have a lot of group which is different friend gt different group ... then i found out that when the time that i'm not in the class there are more problem occur that , someone was boycott someone and i was feel very shock about it ... I know that i had no right to say or to do anythg bcus i'm no longer in that class and also not so friend with them ...
             There r also somethg happen in my class ... The 1st time when i enter this class , i feel so warm to have this class to be my class ... i always proud to study in this class because i had found what had i dream and i always tell other how good was my class , i keep showing off about my class ... Nw i realize that i all had change , although they still smile to each other but i had seen that there already occur a grouping among them ....
              Why must this keep happen ??? I was been teach to blieve in friend , from a friend ... she teach me to blieve in friendship but nw i can see that the word end has appear in the word friend , friend really cant last longer ... it will break when the time move and soon or later , the word friend will turn into end ...
               I really hate myself .... If 1 days i bcum Bisu , i thk there will be a lot people happy for me , bcus i cant break their heart as what i do nw ... If 1 days i bcum blind , i bet the 1st person that will happy is me bcus i no need use my eyes to see the true meaning of friendship ... ARGH !!!!! I thk i should learn , talk less , listen less and emo more so that i no need suffer when my friend are in trouble ...

 I HATE MYSELF ....